(In a classroom of Yokai Academy, the human boy, Tsukune is fiddling with his bracelet (which prevents his humanity being consumed by his vampiric side) when he notices that his friend/girlfriend, Moka appears groggy)
Tsukune: Hey Moka, are you feeling alright? You don't seem quite as perky as you usually do.
Moka: (Yawns) I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep yesterday because I was doing the literature homework. I'm sure I'll feel fine if I
Tsukune: You what?
Moka: (Latches on to Tsukune's neck and drains him) If I just suck a little of your delicious blood!
(Out of nowhere, Moka is kicked to a wall by Tsukune's other love interest, Kurumu)
Kurumu: Moka, how many times do I have to tell you to keep your fangs off my Tsukune? (Starts to rub her enormous breast on top of Tsukune's head) Oh Tsukune, did that mean old Moka hurt you? Just tell your favorite succubus how to make it all better!
Tsukune: (Muffled) Can't breathe.
(Kurumu is suddenly frozen by Tsukune's other love interest, the snow woman, Mizore)
Mizore: You're not a very good listener, boob woman. You almost choked Tsukune to death. Don't worry, I know how make you better. I'll just blow on the bite mark for you.
Tsukune: (Feels Mizore's cold breath and shivers) So cold!
(Mizore is then hit by a golden tub, summoned by the young witch, Yukari)
Yukari: Neither of you 2 knows what Tsukune needs, but I do. (Grabs out a kit of ingredients) Using basic alchemy, I can whip up a potion that will ease the pain! (Snickers) And maybe I can even secretly make a love potion that will get both Moka and Tsukune to love me too.
(However the girls regain consciousness and hover angrily over Yukari)
All 3: I'm the one who is going to take care of Tsukune! Not you!
(The girls continue to bicker until their older friend, Ruby comes in)
Ruby: Attention, everyone! Due to being caught in an unfortunate accident, Ms. Nekonome won't be able to teach for the whole week.
Moka: Poor Ms. Nekonome.
Tsukune: So are you our teacher, Ruby?
Ruby: No. (Rushes towards Tsukune and hugs him) But if I had my way I'd make Tsukune the teacher! (Grabs her ruler and rubs over her butt) Please, Tsukune spank me with this ruler! I've been a naughty student.
Tsukune: Uh, Ruby, don't you have a class to teach?
Ruby: (Regains composure and coughs) Anyway, I'm here to assist the substitute teacher with whatever he needs. So let's meet him shall we? Come on In!
(The doors open, a ghost goes in front of the desk and stands in front of the students)
Ghost Nappa: Hi!
Student: Who the fuck are you?
Nappa: Hi I'm Nappa. And I'm here to teach you kids about sexual education.
Moka & Tsukune: Ah! Sex ed? I thought we were going to do literature!
Nappa: Yeah...nope! See there's been word that you kids have been getting involved in alleged sexual activity. So the headmaster said I should make students watch a video on all the info they need to know before engaging in sex.
Kurumu: So let me get this straight. We're not going over literature?
Kurumu: We won't be doing any reading?
Kurumu: And you won't be checking for our homework?
Kurumu: Yahoo! I don't have to turn in my homework for a whole week!
Yukari: Sounds like Kurumu didn't do her homework again.
Mizore: It wouldn't be the first time she skipped out.
Kurumu: For your information, I did do my homework! I just didn't do the last question.
Nappa: Anyway, I couldn't find an educational video. So I'm going to show you this sex video that me and my girl, Athena made!
Tsukune: Athena! As in Athena, the goddess of wisdom?
Student: How did an oaf like you end up banging a goddess?
Nappa: 2 words
(Puts the DVD in) Saiyan swagger!
(The students watch the video and show mixed feelings)
Moka: How did she maneuver her legs to that position?
Tsukune: Look at the teacher's muscles! Are girls really into that sort of thing?
Ruby: Look at how he spanks her! I wouldn't mind that.
Mizore: I have to admit guys that I like the positions they use. They're really inspiring. Stare.
Nappa: (Hears his phone rings and picks it up) S'up?
Ghost Athena: Hello, Nappa. I found your recording object in my bookshelf.
Nappa: You mean the camera?
Athena: That's it! I was wondering, did you use it to make another one of your sex videos?
Nappa: Is it ok if I used to teach kids about breeding?
Athena: Absolutely Not!
Nappa: Then no. No I didn't do that.
Athena: Well I'm going to be visiting the school to check on you in an hour. If I find a tape with us doing anything sexual, you'll be in serious trouble.
Nappa: What kind of trouble?
Athena: The kind where I castrate you.
Athena: Oh for Zeus sake! I'll cut your balls off! (Nappa hangs up) Nappa? Nappa?
Nappa: Whelp kids, it's been fun. We'll be discussing the video tomorrow. Class dismissed!
Yukari: But we still have 30 mins.
Kurumu: Who cares we're getting out early!
Moka: Besides we can use this time to come up with new stories for the newspaper club.
(The students leave, except for Tsukune, who is stopped by Nappa)
Nappa: Hey, kid. I need you take this DVD and keep it safe for me for the rest of the day.
Tsukune: What? Why?
Nappa: Well it turns out my girlfriend found my camera and thinks I taped us together. I need you to make sure she thinks I didn't do anything
Tsukune: No! I can't possibly do that! What if someone finds me and think that I'm some kind of perv?
Nappa: If you do I'll give you extra credit and a Klondike bar!
Tsukune: Give me! (Eats the ice cream) So good! (Leaves the class room and heads to his room) Alright, I should probably put this DVD in my desk so no one will-
(Suddenly the doors opens and Kurumu barges)
Kurumu: Tsukune! I just had a great idea for a dessert recipe article and I wanted to share my idea with
(Sees the DVD) What are doing with the teacher's video?
Kurumu: (Puts her finger on his lip) Shh. You don't have to say anything. You wanted to watch the video to see how to properly please a woman. (Turns to her Succubus form and undoes her shirt) Then let me help you with your curious endeavor.
Tsukune: (Kurumu tries to kiss and smother Tsukune) Kurumu, don't do this!
(The other girls hear the commotion and try to stop Kurumu)
Moka, Mizore, Ruby, and Yukari: Get off him now!
Kurumu: No! He's my destined one!
(During the struggle, Tsukune remove Moka's rosary and she turns into her more aggressive, silver haired true self, Inner Moka)
Inner Moka: You idiots! Getting me involved in another one of your squabbles! (Charges at the girls) Know your place!
The other girls: Shit!
Nappa: (Watches Inner Moka beat up the other girls with her power kicks) Hahahahahahaha! (Sighs) High school.
Inner Moka: So Tsukune, what were you doing with this thing anyway?
I was only holding on to this for the teacher. He wanted me to hide this from his girlfriend.
Inner Moka: Hmph.(Pats Tsukune on the head) I believe you. You're not the type who'd do something devious.
Athena: (Approaches Nappa) Well I checked your desk and there were no recording materials. I apologize for suspecting you of flaunting our private affairs. Let me reconcile with you back home by letting you please me.